crush?

Omg i think i really have a crush on him... I cant stop thinking of him. But shouldn't you be filled with joy and happiness when you are in love? I feel very down, but that might have something to do with us ignoring eachother and that... I really want to know what he thinks of me. I dunno... it feels like whenever i look at him, he looks away and when he looks at me i look away. Im never gonna dare be close to him and talk to him more than five seconds. I really dont wanna miss this one. Iv'e done this thing too many times and have all those big regrets in my life that i cant go back and change, will this be another one?
It's only one and a half week left and i will never see him again after it... I wanted to tell one of my co-workers to talk to him for me but i couldnt even do that, maybe if she was a closer friend i would ask her to do this favour for me and wouldnt feel ashamed, or i would still be, i think this kind of stuff is really embarrassing.

That's it after work we'll never see eachother again and im gonna start my studies somewhere else and end of story... I dont want to...

During work i thought, if he was gonna turn me down, then i could spend the rest of the days avoiding him, it's not that long time left and that, so i could be embarrassed and know what he felt about me and then move on. Now i just cant stop thinking of what he feels about me. Is it just me imagining stuff about he liking me because i like him or does he really like me? All those questions im thinking about and i even think about what we would do if we were to get together, what will happen? What would we talk about, his swedish isnt the best, and im gonna move to uppsala and stuff like that.

Should i just give up? I really have to ask someone else to ask for me, i wont be able to do that myself.

When did this whole crushthing even began? First time i saw him i thought he was just cute and helpful, didnt feel anything then, but then when i heard i had i thai admirer i first thought of him, didnt see any other thai boy there and he had been really nice to me so i think it started right there. Aww man, they shouldnt have told me. Now i just feel down and depressed.

I have no one to talk to either, i want to talk to becca but there's no time for one on one talk there and well we arent on the stage where we can call eachother and chat.

Im so desperate -_-